“Going into this evening, the bar for success was pretty low,” Colbert prefaced, “He just had to stay on script no matter what, and he did.”
Over the 14-minute opening monologue, Colbert picked apart the more WTF portions of Trump’s address, from the “beautiful clean coal” moment to his tax plan to the price of prescription drugs.
Colbert also mocked Trump’s overtly inspiration tone where the president said of the American people, “If there’s a mountain, we climb it. If there’s an opportunity, we seize it.” “If there’s a burger, we eat it. If there is a porn star, we bone it. If there is an immigrant, we deport it. If there’s an investigation, we undermine it,” Colbert added in a Trump voice.
The monologue also highlighted the moments in the State of the Union where Trump was booed by the Democratic side of the gallery, especially when it came to immigration. “I think Trump’s immigration plan is ‘Hot Singles Only,'” Colbert said.
One thing unmentioned in Trump’s nearly record-long address: The Russia investigation. “[Trump] hopes that goes away. But even if the president and his campaign aides, members of his family were convicted of conspiracy with a hostile foreign power, where would we send them,” Colbert asked before airing a clip of Trump saying “Guantanamo Bay.”
Watch below: From naming rights to “beautiful clean coal,” the most startling moments of Donald Trump’s State of the Union.