While Depp and Heard were forced to apologize to Australians for sneaking their dogs, Pistol and Boo, into the country without declaring them, Colbert — looking his most dazed and Depp-esque — and an actress playing Heard, admitted to smuggling in an entire menagerie.
Along with not declaring their dogs Sparkles, Lurch and Colonel Dog Face, Colbert droned, “Nor did we declare my colony of parakeets, whom I rightfully call the Funky Bunch. Nor my two 500-pound feral hogs, Niles and Frasier. It was wrong. Even if they are service animals. Which they’re not.”
In one more show of remorse to the Australian people, Colbert honored their “proud island of exiled British degenerates” with a performance of the country’s national anthem. Colbert grabbed a didgeridoo and in between flatulent blows, sang, “He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich,” from Men at Work’s, “Down Under.”