Samantha Bee praised President Donald Trump for finally uniting the country with a single word, “covfefe,” on Full Frontal Wednesday. Bee broke down the President’s surreal late-night tweet, which stirred the hearts and minds of anyone on Twitter early Wednesday morning.
“For that glorious interlude between midnight and five a.m., we were like passengers on the Titanic who decided to say, ‘Fuck it!’ and rock out to the band,” Bee cracked before offering a suggestion as to what the word might signify. “This is what happens when you’ve abstained from your phone for nine days: You ejaculate, just like that.”
Bee then moved to why the President had been away from Twitter for so long – a nine-day international trip. The Full Frontal Host discussed the administration’s jaunt to Saudi Arabia with a disconcertingly apt Mad Max: Fury Road metaphor and then skewered Trump’s lazy decision to skip a brief walk with the other G7 leaders to ride alone in a golf cart instead.
Bee then jumped to the growing scandal surrounding Trump’s top adviser and son-in-law, Jared Kushner, who allegedly tried to establish secret back channels with the Russians. “We can’t assume Jared knowingly broke the law,” Bee admitted. “It’s possible that the Russians planted this story to screw with us. It’s also possible that the person POTUS trusts with negotiating Mid-East peace, reforming the criminal justice system, solving the opioid epidemic, advising the Commander in Chief and reinventing the entire government is just a complete fucking idiot! How comforting.”