In July, a federal judge affirmed an earlier decision by the Trademark Trial and Appeal Board by ordering the cancellation of the Redskins’ trademark, saying the name disparaged Native Americans. The franchise, however, wasted no time appealing that decision – in perhaps the most fitting way possible.
In essence, the Redskins built their entire case on pointing out other “offensive” trademarks that have received governmental approval, including “MILF Weed,” “Jizz Underwear” and “Hot Octopuss anti-premature ejaculation creams.” Free and clear on HBO, Oliver read all those names – and plenty more – on his show, and pointed out that Washington’s defense is pretty much absurd.
“For the record, that means the Redskins’ moral defense is now essentially, ‘Hey, our name is no worse than that of – and, again, this is another real trademark cited in their case – the ‘Shank The Bitch’ board game,'” he said.
Further complicating matters is the team’s argument that any name can be derogatory depending on the individual at hand. The problem: There’s little denying the Redskins name is disparaging and, oh, it’s directed towards a very specific group of individuals.
“Maybe the most obnoxious part of the Redskins’ entire 82-page appeal is when they argued ‘Just about everything is potentially disparaging to someone’ because: A) No it isn’t, and B) That’s not the fucking point,” Oliver ranted, “The word ‘Redskins’ isn’t ‘potentially disparaging to someone.’ It is currently disparaging to specific individuals.”
That’s when Oliver had a heartfelt one-on-one with Redskins owner Daniel Snyder, who has said in the past that the team’s name is meant to honor Native Americans, not offend them. And, in keeping with that spirit, Oliver came up with a plan to honor Snyder with a new name for your fantasy football team.
“Since you seem to feel differently,” Oliver said,” let me suggest that everyone now honor Dan Snyder by renaming their fantasy football teams, ‘Dan Snyder is a thin-skinned racist whose sunglasses look like something a tacky pedophile might settle for.'”