Throughout the U.S., Labor Day marks the official end of summer and the beginning of the school year. Although Last Week Tonight is still on hiatus, John Oliver shared a web exclusive “Back to School” video to provide a crash course on what students should prep for this upcoming school year, from math and world history to biology and English.
For American History, Oliver advises students to do some independent research on one topic: Warren G. Harding’s love life. “Seriously, Google ‘Warren G. Harding penis named Jerry’ right now and you will not be disappointed,” Oliver says. “Although to do that, you may have to switch SafeSearch off.” As for World History, despite its name, students likely won’t learn much about Asia and Africa. “You will leave school knowing as much about those two continents as I do about actor Penn Badgley,” Oliver jokes.
However, Oliver argues that the most unnecessary of requisites is math class. “You’re going to be repeatedly told ‘You’re gonna need this when you grow up.’ That is bullshit. You will need addition, subtraction, multiplication and division,” Oliver says. “I’m an adult with a job and I cannot remember if a logarithm is some kind of exponent, Kenny Loggins’ first album or a method of lumberjack birth control, I don’t know. So ignore it. Just ignore it.”
The host wraps up his “Back to School” video with English class and John Oliver’s Guide to Who Dies at the End, a breakdown of who doesn’t survive all those required readings. Spoiler alert: Most of the time, it’s the American Dream that perishes.