Chappelle read a ferocious burn about his head not fitting his body anymore – “He forgot to exercise that milk dud on his shoulders, that bitch tiny.” Lawrence paired a gross insult with some dry wit. “I bet Jennifer Lawrence gives really unenthusiastic hand jobs,” the actress read, before quipping: “How did they know?”
Baldwin confronted the most prominent mean tweeter of them all, President Donald Trump, giving a hilarious reading of one of Trump’s screeds about Saturday Night Live. Jake Gyllenhaal flashed his sad puppy eyes in response to one tweeter’s desire to “sock him in his ugly, soft, starry-eyed pug face.” And John Lithgow responded to a tweet assuming too many similarities between his face and scrotum with put-on indignity.
The best clapback, however, belonged to Kumail Nanjiani. After being asked if his “dick [was] multiple colors,” The Big Sick star replied: “Yes. Every shade of your mom’s lipstick – and her butthole.”