Justin Bieber has written enough lovesick lyrics to fuel a soap opera. And on Tuesday night, The Late Late Show tested that theory, with host James Corden, Salma Hayek Pinault, Ray Romano and Gary Oldman co-starring in “The Bold and the Lyrical,” a Bold and the Beautiful parody with dialogue ripped entirely from the pop singer’s discography.
The scene opens with Romano and Pinault reclining with a romantic plate of fondue. “I wish our hearts could come together as one,” the latter says. Corden, her other lover, storms in moments later, building to the following hilarious exchange: “Baby!” “Baby?” Baby!” “Ohhh!” A regretful Hayek Pinault asks, “Is it too late now to say sorry?” But the damage is done.
“Stop! Everybody wanna steal my girl? Everybody wanna take her heart away?” Romano interjects, and Corden reminds the actor he’s unintentionally quoting One Direction. A confused Oldman stumbles in, only to recount his initial love affair: “She had me going crazy. I was star struck.”
The bit ends with a round of final disses from Hayek Pinault’s jaded lovers. Corden emphasizes, “It’s too late now to say sorry.” Romano offers, “If you like the way you look that much, then, baby, you should go love yourself.” And Oldman sneaks in the most painful dig: “My mama don’t like you, and she likes everyone.”