“It’s clear something has to change. We have to take a hard look at mental health, which I have so much of. I have one of the healthiest mental. My mentals are so high, but we have to respect the law,” the president said. “Believe me, no one love the Second Amendment and due process more than me, but maybe we just take everyone’s guns.”
The sketch also acknowledged Trump’s $30 million in campaign contributions from the NRA, the president’s “I hear you” memo when meeting with school shooting victims and his claim that, if we were outside the school during the Parkland shooting, he would enter the school and stop the shooter himself.
“The youth of America deserve to feel safe and secure in their schools because folks, I can only run into so many schools and save everybody,” Baldwin’s Trump said. “If I could I would run into all of them, even without a weapon, I’d burst through the doors and I’d be running so fast – I’m actually a very fast runner, people don’t know that – I’d be running so fast, the guy with the gun wouldn’t even know what hit him.”
As this was the first SNL following its Winter Olympics hiatus, the cold open covered a lot of what happened around the Trump administration during the break: more North Korea threats, Trump’s steel tariffs, the Black Panther phenomenon, the continued Mueller investigation and the latest wave of White House resignations.
“If I have to make America’s schools safe all by myself, just like how I’m running the White House all by myself, because these people who work for me keep resigning,” he said. “Hope Hicks, she’s like a daughter to me, so smart, so ho. She resigns. I hate seeing her go but I love watching her walk away. I mean, Jared Kushner is basically the hottest chick left in the place and he’s probably going to jail soon.”
As for the tariffs that drew criticism from both Democrats and Republicans, “Trump” said, “I said I was going to run this country like a business. That business is a Waffle House at 2 a.m.”
The cold open closed out with an appearance by “Mr. Magoo,” a.k.a. Kate McKinnon’s Attorney General Jeff Sessions.