Welcome to another installment of the Rolling Stone “Everything Index,” our midweek pop-culture power rankings and go-to source for all things Kardashian.
In this edition, we take aim at Kanye West’s Twitter feed (“Swish!!!“), shirtless politicians, undead detectives and soon-to-be-extinct web browsers – see if you can figure out which one involves Kim K! – while also pining for the warming embrace of Spring and pondering America’s great racial divide with some dude who works at Starbucks. Yes, it’s yet another WTF week on the pop-cult beat.
So while we finish our third Venti Iced Skinny Hazelnut Macchiato, let’s get to our midweek hit list: The good, the bad and Everything in between. It’s time to do some Indexing.
2. The Wrong Durst: Associated Press mistakes Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst for Jinx star/total creepshow Robert Durst. Hey, they’ve both done horrible things.
3. Starbucks’ ‘Race Together’ Campaign: Corporate coffee behemoth now encouraging baristas to discuss America’s complex racial issues with customers. We’d just like them to spell our name correctly.
4. Aaron Schock Resigns: Frequently shirtless, Taylor Swift-quoting Illinois representative steps down amidst questions over lavish trips, Downton Abbey-inspired office makeover. We’re sure his retirement party will be fabulous.
5. Spring: After approximately 14 months of winter, the thaw begins Friday. Our cold, dead hearts will remain encased in ice permanently.
6. This Adorable Dancing Toddler: Awesome little girl grooves to LL Cool J’s “Going Back to Cali,” is totally feeling the bass. Your move, Meghan Trainor.
7. The Scarface Remake: Inevitable re-reboot of gangster epic is finally underway. Rappers everywhere forced to reconsider their interior-decorating decisions.
8. iZombie: CW’s quirky, brain-gobbling series – about a medical student who gets turned into an undead, crime-solving machine – has won us over. Oh, like the premise is any more ridiculous than CSI: Cyber?
9. R.I.P., Internet Explorer: Microsoft announces plans to kill off America’s 15th-most popular web browser. Now if only it were that easy to uninstall it from our computers.
10. Your St. Pat’s Hangover: You probably deserve it.