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Stephen Colbert Is Rattled By Stormy Daniels’ Description of Trump’s Penis

‘Late Show’ host highlights adult entertainer’s book excerpt, which detailed president’s genitals as a “Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in ‘Mario Kart'”

On Wednesday’s Late Show, a horrified Stephen Colbert attempted to process Stormy Daniels’ detailed, meme-generating description of President Trump’s genitals from her upcoming book, Full Disclosure. He failed. “Since I’ve started hosting this show, I’ve had to cover some rather unfortunate topics – for example, everything all the time,” the host joked in his monologue. But the latest Trump headline, he said, was “unsuitable for viewers under the age of dead.”

On Tuesday, The Guardian published an excerpt from Full Disclosure in which Daniels detailed an alleged sexual encounter with Trump in 2006. The adult performer described the future president’s penis as “smaller than average” but “not freakishly small,” with a “huge mushroom head … like a toadstool.” She added, “I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.”

“Not freakishly small – that’s actually kinda nice,” Colbert cracked. “‘I don’t think your penis is small enough to have its own tent at the carnival – or really a tent anywhere.'”

Daniels also wrote of the Trump experience, “It may have been the least impressive sex I’ve ever had, but clearly he didn’t share that opinion.” “Truly a caring lover,” Colbert joked. “‘So, it was good for you.'”

And the host took issue with Daniels’ description of the sex as non-impressive: “It has made an impression on me,” he said. “There’s a good chance I’ll be on my death bed, surrounded by my loved ones, and my final thought will be, ‘…Yeti pubes!'”

Newswire

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