Stephen Colbert is poking holes in the reasoning offered by the State Department in its announcement Monday that it will not impose the Russia sanctions that Congress overwhelmingly passed in mid-2017.
“No one is happier with Trump right now than Russia,” the Late Night host quipped, adding that the department’s explanation, that “the legislation, is, in fact, serving as a deterrent,” didn’t have a leg to stand on because it was faulty logic.
“Oh, so voting to impose the sanctions was the sanction,” he said, applying that same odd reasoning to a hypothetical murder trial. “‘I sentence you to 20 years in prison. And by the look on your face, I can see you learned your lesson. You’re free to go,'” Colbert said, assuming the role of a court judge. “‘Bailiff, return the gentleman’s knife. Wipe the blood off and give the man his knife.'”
Colbert pointed out that CIA director Mike Pompeo has already said that Putin will undoubtedly target the U.S. midterm elections this year, which is unsurprising, but terrifying, the late night host said. “The government is showing all the forethought of a kid biting into a second Tide pod. Don’t do it.”
What’s really happening, Colbert said, is that the president’s lawyers are trying to keep Trump away from Robert Mueller’s investigation because they’re afraid he will misspeak and incriminate himself.
“Trump’s lawyers are protecting him from himself because they think he’s incapable of not lying,” Colbert said. “They’re treating the president of the United States like a dog left alone with a pizza. Or like Trump left alone with a pizza.”
Watch the full video clip above.