After recording monologues in his bathtub and by his backyard firepit, Colbert posted up on his porch for “The Light Show With Stephen Colb-Air.” The segment, however, opened with a goofy bit based on the decision to cancel the Kentucky Derby, with a quarantined Churchill Downs announcer plumbing the depths of his psyche by “calling” a faux race filled with horses with names like “Does This Cough Mean Anything?,” “Prone to Panic” and the eventual winner, “Generalized Anxiety.”
In his monologue, Colbert touched on to how local governments are trying to contain the virus, noting that, for instance, Florida’s governor has announced that all beach parties should be limited to 10 people.
“You know it’s serious when Florida starts enforcing rules,” Colbert cracked. “Remember, their state motto is, ‘Can you huff this?'”
While the coronavirus has obviously been dominating the news, Colbert did find some time to address much lighter fare — such as the online clamor yesterday to release the “butthole cut” Cats after a Twitter user claimed his friend had worked on the film and been tasked with removing CGI buttholes that had been previously inserted into the film.
Colbert gleefully joked that, “Somewhere out there, there exists a ‘butthole cut’ of Cats. Yes, a ‘butthole cut,’ starring James Cornhole, Dame Judi Stench, Sir Ian McSmellin’ and, of course, Anus Elba.'” For good measure, Colbert added a heartfelt and earnest, “Get well soon, Anus,” a nod to Idris Elba’s recent announcement that he’d tested positive for the coronavirus.