Stephen Colbert seized upon the opportunity to ridicule President Trump for his rambling, politically saturated speech to the Boy Scouts of America Tuesday in an unexpected way: by updating the organization’s sacred oath for the Trump era.
“On my honor, I will do my best to make a tremendous amount of money and buy a sex yacht like the old guy the president knows,” Colbert said during his opening monologue for The Late Show Tuesday night. “To keep myself physically strong with golf and steak, and refer all questions to outside council. Merry Christmas.”
Earlier in this monologue, Colbert pointed to several bizarre points Trump made in his meandering speech, pointing out that the president essentially trashed the very government the Boy Scouts have such a deep reverence for.
“The Boy Scouts are known for their love of civic engagement,” Colbert said. “They have a deep, abiding, non-cynical, non-ironic belief in our democracy. And Donald Trump took the opportunity to drop a deuce in that punch bowl.”
Colbert also noted that Trump’s “insecurities and personal obsessions” led him to tell the very young crowd a wholly inappropriate story about a man he once knew who got “more and more successful,” bought a yacht, and led a (wink wink) “interesting life.”
Watch the clip above to see what else Colbert said of Trump’s headline-making speech, and check out the clip below to hear the ghost story about the “old bloated pumpkin man with hair like moldy hay.”