Ahead of his debut as host of The Late Show, Stephen Colbert received a cornucopia of friendly — and not-so-friendly — advice from his late-night competitors including Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers and Conan O’Brien in a new video from Vanity Fair.
The clip features both the nuggets of wisdom and Colbert’s reaction, starting strong with Kimmel’s suggestion that Colbert be rude to his guests and wear a lot of cologne. “Alright, so don’t change anything,” Colbert quickly quipped.
Elsewhere, incoming Daily Show host Trevor Noah reminded Colbert to watch what he tweets, and The Nightly Show‘s Larry Wilmore — who will host opposite Colbert in the 11:30 p.m. slot — coolly suggested, “Don’t go too fast, alright.” Another fellow Daily Show alum, John Oliver, was more amicable, offering only the wise words of irritating 12-year-olds: “You do you.” Luckily, Colbert noted, CBS specifically tasked him with courting the lucrative “irritating 12-year-old demo.”
The video also found Colbert’s CBS cohort James Corden of The Late Late Show beseeching him to save his best material for the program’s final four minutes (“That’s The Mentalist guy, right?” Colbert asked excitedly), while late-night vet Conan O’Brien steered clear of TV and suggested Colbert start investing in real estate.
“That’s what’s gonna last,” O’Brien said, hilariously deadpanning throughout the clip: “And I mean valuable real estate. Real estate that’s on the water; real estate that’s in a city that’s up-and-coming. Don’t buy in Florida.”
Lastly, Late Night‘s Seth Meyers reminded Colbert of Gwen Stefani’s mispronunciation of his last name at the 2014 Emmys — “Colbore” — and recommended, on behalf of the entire showbiz community, he legally change his to that.
“I think she said ‘Stephen Colborg,’ Seth,” Colbert replied. “And as we in the hive say: ‘Resistance is futile.'”
Notably absent from the clip, however, was Jimmy Fallon, who hosts The Late Show‘s longtime NBC rival, The Tonight Show — though don’t expect that to signal the start of a Leno-Letterman-esque feud. The pair have a longstanding, often hilarious, friendship, and Tuesday morning, Fallon tweeted, “To our friends at @colbertlateshow, congrats on your first show and hopefully dozens more. Break a finger.”
Colbert begins his Late Show tenure tonight, Tuesday, August 8th, at 11:35 p.m. on CBS. His first guests will be George Clooney and Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush, with music from his bandleader Jon Batiste. Kendrick Lamar will be Colbert’s first official musical guest on Wednesday, September 9th.