Stephen Colbert’s “daily, week-long” web series “Lunch With Stephen” has aired its last and dramatic episode.
“Thank God it’s TGIF Friday,” the host began. Wearing a winter jacket, Colbert is upset that his lunch buddy betrayed him by not skipping town with him. “I didn’t see you at the airport, friend,” he says menacingly while brandishing a pair of scissors.
Over the course of the dramatic week, Colbert has suffered the consequences of keeping a bag of money he found on the train and also the death of all the apes in his apiary. His plan was to run off to Iceland with his lunch mate, but as it turns out, Colbert didn’t make it to the airport either. Instead, he kept the $10,000 he requested from his friend and then blew through it.
The rollercoaster week he’s had ends as wildly as it began, with Fish & Wildlife finally catching up with him. The officers wrestle Colbert to the ground as he tells them that there’s a gun in his partner’s desk. While he’s being handcuffed, multicolored feathers float around him. “I have no idea how that cockatiel got in my pants!” he exclaims.
Colbert is dragged out of the office while raising concerns that the prison doesn’t “know his sleep number.” Even while in the process of being taken to jail, Colbert still wants to know if his lunch buddy is going to eat their chips.
The Late Show With Stephen Colbert will premiere on CBS on September 8th.