Days after news broke that Drake has filed an application to trademark the phrase “God’s Plan,” Stephen Colbert completed the final step on the rapper’s behalf: clearing the usage with the Lord himself.
Before the divine consultation, the Late Show host cracked a few jokes about the headline. “That’s a pretty common expression to try to trademark,” he said, noting that the musician aims to use the title of his chart-topping track for “music, clothing, marketing, promotions and a game show to be broadcast on TV and the Internet.” Colbert added, “I guess someone already beat him to ‘How’s it goin’?”, “You up?” and “Guac is extra.'”
A heavenly light then beamed down from the ceiling of the Ed Sullivan Theater, as God revealed his nonchalant attitude toward Drake’s plan.
“Oh, I’m totally cool with it, Steven,” the digitized creator said. “I thought about using ‘God’s Plan’ for my own music and clothing line, but I didn’t have the start-up money. I took a real bath on my brother-in-law’s condo deal in Tampa. What was I thinking? All that cash went straight up Todd’s nose.”
The deity revealed that his actual plan is pretty shambolic. “I have a complete master plan written down on this cocktail napkin,” he intoned. “It says ‘Nothing’ with an arrow that points to ‘Something.’ That’s the basic gist.” … In my defense, I wasn’t completely sober when I did it. I’m all about that purple drank, Steven. Codeine and Sprite. Woo! I created everything that moves!”