Weekend Update tackled the House’s late-night passing of the Covid relief package as well as CPAC, the Frasier revival and the new Potato Head on the latest episode of Saturday Night Live.
“Just like me when I’m drunk, Congress decided to spend a lot of money at 2:30 in the morning. They passed a $1.9 trillion spending bill, and Republicans are calling it ‘a liberal wishlist,'” co-anchor Colin Jost said.
“I don’t know, I think a liberal wishlist would be avocado toast with Chrissy Teigen, free college for pets, and a hip-hop musical about Anderson Cooper starring Lin-Manuel Miranda.”
However, one of the key components of the stimulus bill — a $15 minimum wage — did not make the cut, much to the delight of Senators Lindsey Graham and John Thune, the latter of whom boasted about earning $6 an hour at a restaurant as a “kid” 40 years and lots of inflation ago.
“This is why Democrats never get stuff done: You keep leaving it for a vote, and taking ‘No’ for an answer,” co-anchor Michael Che said. “When Republicans lose a vote, they storm the Capitol. Why can’t y’all get that mad? Say what you will about a guy in a viking helmet taking a dump on Nancy Pelosi’s desk, but he will not be ignored.”
The anchors also covered this weekend’s CPAC convention — including Ted Cruz’s self-owning speech — as well as the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, coronavirus’ impact on life expectancy, and the Frasier revival. “For those of you too young to remember, Frasier was the show that made Friends look black,” Jost joked.
Weekend Update also welcomed back on their new favorite targets, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene — played by Cicely Strong — who this week caused another uproar by hanging an anti-trans sign outside her office:
“Science teaches us that there are two genders because our bodies are made by God a certain way, okay?” the U.S. representative said.
“For women, it’s ‘Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, fudge is made.’ And for boys, it’s ‘Big hairy chests, just like King Kong, crack in the butt, two balls, ding-dong. That is science.”
Greene also took exception to the announcement of the genderless Potato Head. “All I’m saying is, if Mr. Potato Head is allowed to marry another Mr. Potato Head, I’ll kill myself. Is that so crazy?”