'SNL' Weekend Update Tackles Steve Bannon, Kyle Rittenhouse - Rolling Stone
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‘SNL’ Weekend Update Tackles Steve Bannon’s Contempt, Kyle Rittenhouse’s Tearful Testimony

“The lesson we all learned this week is ‘Never break up with Taylor Swift,’ or she will sing about you for 10 minutes on national television”

Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update tackled Steve Bannon’s contempt of Congress, Kyle Rittenhouse’s tearful testimony and the termination of Britney Spears’ conservatorship during the latest episode, which also featured a 10-minute performance of musical guest Taylor Swift’s breakup epic “All Too Well.”

“Well, the lesson we all learned this week is ‘Never break up with Taylor Swift,’ or she will sing about you for 10 minutes on national television,” co-anchor Colin Jost joked after the performance. “At the very least, return the scarf.”

The duo then turned to “real news.” “Steve Bannon, seen here moments after shooting out of a sewage pipe; sorry, I should use his full name Steven K. Bannon — the K. stands for three Ks — was indicted on contempt of Congress,” Jost said. “If convicted, Bannon would face up to two years in prison which, by the looks of him, might be a life sentence.”

Weekend Update then turned to Kyle Rittenhouse — on trial for killing two protestors in Wisconsin — and his tearful testimony on the stand.

“Legal experts are saying that Kyle Rittenhouse crying on the stand as he described how he shot his victims will help him with the jury,” co-anchor Michael Che said.

“Man, is there a white tears law school that I don’t know about? I notice every time you get in trouble, you start crying and everything works out for you, whether you’re trying to beat a murder charge or trying to be a Supreme Court Justice.” A photo of Brett Kavanaugh crying during testimony was then shown on the screen.

On the subject of Britney Spears’ conservatorship being terminated after 13 years, Che quipped, “The media is very excited that she’s back on her feet… so they can knock her back down again.”

Later in the segment, Jost and Che traded jokes about e-bikes, Bud Light eggnog-flavored seltzer (“If you want a preview of the taste, throw up in your mouth,” Jost joked) and the ongoing feud between Vin Diesel and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson:

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