“Rep. Matt Gaetz, who looks like a caricature drawing of me, is reportedly under investigation for an alleged sexual relationship with an underage girl, because Gaetz believes only voters should have to show ID,” co-anchor Colin Jost said.
“It’s also being reported that Gaetz may have paid for sex with women he met online. That story has since been confirmed by his whole vibe.”
Jost then poked fun at Gaetz’s statement where “Matt Gaetz” denied all the accusations and “looks forward to marrying the love of his life.” “Colin Jost thinks you should hold off on sending those wedding invites,” Jost said.
Jost also criticized the QAnon followers for bizarrely standing by Gaetz. “Here’s the craziest part of the story to me: A sitting congressman is being accused of child trafficking and the QAnon people are suddenly like, ‘Nah, I need more evidence.’ That was your whole thing!” Jost said.
“Matt Gaetz’s girlfriend, she was allegedly 17. The 17th letter is Q. It all adds up. What are you waiting for? ‘The Storm’ is finally here and QAnon is like, ‘You can’t believe everything you read on the internet.'”
In non-Gaetz news, Weekend Update also discussed Starbucks’ 50th anniversary, Johnson & Johnson’s vaccine ingredient mixup (“The good news is now your shampoo might cure Covid”) and Pfizer’s teen vaccine news.
“Pfizer also said that its Covid vaccine is safe and effective for teens aged 12 to 15,” Jost said. “‘Well, that’s a relief,” said Matt Gaetz.”