Weekend Update‘s Colin Jost and Michael Che took aim at Judge Brett Kavanaugh and the entire Republican Party during their latest Saturday Night Live segment. The co-hosts analyzed and satirized Kavanaugh’s Thursday appearance in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee, in which he faced scrutiny from Democratic senators over his alleged sexual assault of Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
“[Kavanaugh and Dr. Ford] appeared Thursday in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee in a classic debate of ‘she said/he yelled,'” Jost cracked to open the piece. Highlighting a series of clips in which Kavanaugh noted his love of beer, “lifting weights” and “working out,” the comedian added, “Based on his testimony, I guess Kavanaugh thought the hearing was about whether he was cool in high school … I gotta say you’re not really helping yourself in a drunken assault case when you yell about how much you like drinking and how strong you were at the time.”
Jost and Che contrasted Kavanaugh’s emotional, explosive testimony with Dr. Ford’s more composed delivery. “I just want to remind everybody that all this yelling and crying happened at this dude’s job interview,” Che observed. “I mean, typically when you’re asked about a sexual assault and your drinking problem at a job interview, you don’t get the damn job!”
He continued, “I don’t know if Mr. Kavanaugh actually has a history of assault or if he actually has a drinking problem. But I know that he might. And you shouldn’t be on the Supreme Court if you might. You shouldn’t be on The People’s Court if you might. Sometimes ‘might’ is enough. I don’t want to pet your dog if he might bite me. I don’t want to leave you in my house if you might be a crackhead. I don’t want to have sex with you if you might have dated Charlie Sheen.”
The comics also cracked jokes about Kavanaugh’s 1982 calendar (“You know if you have calendars from 1982, it does not prove you’re innocent. It proves you’re a hoarder”) and his high school yearbook (“The Devil’s Triangle is not a drinking game. But speaking of drinking games, if you took a shot for every time Kavanaugh lied about his yearbook, you’d be as drunk as Brett Kavanaugh was in the summer of ’82”).
“Kavanugh could be the deciding vote on issues concerning the very people he makes feel unsafe,” Che said. “It would be like letting the coyote deciding on roadrunner rights. Or letting all-white cops police an all-black neighborhood.”