“Earlier today you went on TV and you told the America people that you want to make a deal,” Kenan Thompson’s Steve Harvey said. “So we decided to do this in the only format that you can understand: A TV game show with women holding briefcases.”
Before fielding counter offers, the president laid out is deal offer: “I want $5 billion for my border wall and in exchange I’ll extend DACA and I’ll release the kids from cages so they can be free range kids.”
Trump first asked Kate McKinnon’s speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi to open her briefcase: “$1 Billion + You Say ‘Nancy’s My Mommy.'” After Trump turned down the offer, Pelosi and Trump bicker about the State of the Union and Pelosi’s trip to Afghanistan. “This is like watching two grandparents fight over the thermostat,” the host notes.
Alex Moffat’s Chuck Schumer ($15 and a pastrami on rye), Melissa Villaseñor’s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Leslie Jones’ Maxine Waters and Mikey Day’s condemned Steve King (“Whites”) each pitched their shutdown solution.
“You know what, this government gonna be shut down for like a year,” a defeated Harvey said. However, the clip ends with Trump ending the shutdown in exchange for a White Castle crave case.