“Our top story tonight: Donald Trump’s heroic end to the shutdown. It did take him 31 days, but he was finally able to get no wall,” Alex Moffat’s Tucker Carlson said.
Kate McKinnon added a new impression to her ever-growing stable of Trump cabinet impersonations as she poked fun at Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross, who made insensitive comments about government workers hurt by the shutdown earlier in the week.
“All I meant was we all have to make sacrifices in times of hardships. For example, instead of going out to dinner, you can open a restaurant in your house. Or for a period of time, you can have your horses attend public school. The small things add up,” McKinnon’s Ross said.
Just like in real life, Carlson’s program then featured an interview with post-arrest Stone, played by Martin.
“Honestly, I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. Seven felonies, I can’t even count that high! How cool is that,” Martin’s Stone exclaimed before he started playing the pity card on Fox News. “The pity thing… I’m a poor, helpless old man. I’m 66, I’m almost as old as Sting!”
As for Stone’s early morning arrest that was captured by CNN cameras, he said, “The whole thing was so harrowing, and afterwards I could only manage one radio interview, and a speech from the steps on the courthouse, and two television appearance. It was awful.”
To help with his legal fees, Martin’s Roger Stone “set up a donation page based on a phrase people have been yelling everywhere at me, ‘Roger, go fund yourself.'” He then yelled directly at the Fox News-watching president “Pardon me!” and told the audience, in a nod to his own SNL past, “I’m just a normal and straightforward guy.”