In a week that featured the divisive State of the Union and the Virginia governor facing a blackface scandal, Saturday Night Live‘s Meet the Press instead cold-opened with another story dominating headlines: The National Enquirer‘s alleged blackmail of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos.
“We’re all highly respected journalists, so when all is said and done, what do you think Jeff Bezos’ penis will look like,” Kyle Mooney’s Chuck Todd asked. “I know normally high-minded journalists wouldn’t talk about something like this, but it does involve the richest man in America and the President of the United States. So, Jeff Bezos’ penis, what do you think it’s gonna look like?”
Cecily Strong’s Peggy Noonan then predicted it would look like “small potatoes.” “You know what they say: If it’s small and looks funny, you better have the money, honey,” the panelist said.
The host added, “There are obvious major implications to this story beyond Jeff Bezos’ penis; it brings up issues of blackmail, invasion of privacy and maybe even crimes by foreign agents. So my question is: What do you think the coloration is like?”
Later in the cold open, Kate McKinnon’s Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross stopped by to provide a disturbing definition of “dick pic” and Aidy Bryant debuted her impersonation of Acting Attorney General Matt Whitaker, who had a contentious congressional hearing Friday.