'SNL': Coronavirus Briefing Turns Into Democratic Debate in Cold Open - Rolling Stone
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‘SNL’: Coronavirus Briefing Turns Into Democratic Debate in Cold Open

“Guess who just kicked butt in South Cracker Barrel,” John Mulaney’s victorious Joe Biden touts

Saturday Night Live returned from its two-week hiatus to tackle the most pressing issue to emerge in recent weeks, the coronavirus, with the show’s Vice President Mike Pence leading a press conference on the spreading illness that gets hijacked by the remaining Democratic presidential candidates.

“Most of you know me from the sentence, ‘Even if Trump was removed, we’d still be stuck with Mike Pence,'” Beck Bennett’s vice president said. “Trump has put me in charge of the coronavirus even though I don’t believe in ‘science,’ and I have to admit, this disease has been quite a test to my faith, just like dinosaur bones or Timothée Chalamet, but I’m prepared for the challenge.”

Pence introduced his crack team of experts — Kenan Thompson’s Dr. Ben Carson — before the Democratic candidates, fresh off the South Carolina primary, took over the White House briefing: First Fred Armisen’s Mike Bloomberg challenged Donald Trump’s ability to lead in these challenging times, then Kate McKinnon’s Elizabeth Warren appeared to hound Bloomberg: “I might be fifth in the polls but I’m Number One in your nightmare, Mike!”

Guess who just kicked butt in South Cracker Barrel,John Mulaney’s victorious Joe Biden said. “Listen folks, if we want to fight China cough we got to be smart, we got to make sure to get new teeth daily.”

Larry David’s Bernie Sanders next called out from the press corp, “You got to admit folks, universal healthcare doesn’t sound too crazy now, does it? Hey, I’m having the best week of my freaking life. I had a little setback in South Carolina but I’m ahead in the other polls, Wall Street billionaires are losing their shirts and best of all, nobody wants to come near me, much less touch me, I’m in heaven!”

Colin Jost’s Pete Buttigieg and Rachel Dratch’s Amy Klobuchar then appeared and the briefing morphed into a full-on Democratic debate, with each candidate doling out coronavirus advice “Good old fashioned bar soap and scalding hot water,” David’s Sanders recommended) between barbs at one another.

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