Pence was raised in Indiana – “State motto: We’re not the south, so why are we like this?” Bee quipped – as a Democrat before embracing President Reagan’s Republican party. “[Pence] initially assumed he was a Democrat, but then he met a guy who stirred something that had always been inside him,” said Bee. “When he realized he was drawn to Republicans rather than Democrats, he came out proudly.”
Bee then pointed out some peculiar aspects of the Pence’s relationship with his wife, Karen. Like, when he famously called Karen “mother” and said he won’t drink or dine with women when his wife is absent.
“I think it’s weird as all hell,” Bee continued, “but I also think married people should be able to do whatever weird-as-hell things make them happy. And they seem really, really happy. I just wish they would extend the same courtesy to gay people, trans people, women and all of us out there who seem as weird to them as they do to us.”
Pence lost two congressional races and then spent years in talk radio before winning a House seat in 2000. “While Mike Pence wasn’t busy suppressing the rights of women and gay people, he was diligently fighting for the interests that mattered most,” Bee said, cutting to footage of a truly bizarre video in which Pence wishes the cartoon character Garfield happy birthday during a speech on the floor of the House of Representatives.
After briefly surveying the rest of the Pences’ political views – Pence has also attempted to restrict access to abortion and turn away Syrian refugees – Bee concluded, “so fuck ’em both, but like in a wholesome, heterosexual, for-the-purposes-of-reproduction-only way.”