Star Wars: The Force Awakens may have revived Chewbacca’s career, but it left several extras and side characters hanging out to dry. In the hilarious cold open for Conan‘s Thursday Star Wars-themed episode, a washed-up crew of intergalactic rejects – played by Conan O’Brien, Andy Richter, Ron Funches, Aisha Tyler, T.J. Miller and Alex Fernie – talk smack and air their grievances at a deli.
The crew lobs insults at “Mr. Hollwood” Chewbacca, who’s flirting with a woman in a nearby booth. “Hey Chewie, you look good!” Jango Fett (Miller) sarcastically shouts. “You been lifting, gargling, doing your thing? Fuck him.” Bounty hunter Dengar (Richter) refers to the wookie as a “roided-up hamster,” and Lando Calrissian (Funches) cracks, “I didn’t think they let service animals in here!”
Bitter about not getting the Force Awakens greenlight, they direct their anger toward director J.J. Abrams. “The movie was directed by the guy who directed Felicity,” says Oola (Tyler), Jabba the Hutt’s dancing girl, while Jabba’s freaky-looking majordomo Bib Fortuna (Fernie) blames his casting struggles on IBS.
The bit turns more hilarious when delusional Empire cyborg Lobot (O’Brien) joins the table and makes fun of them all, even sneaking in a “racist” joke about a droid. “Lando, been awhile – you’re lookin’ swell! What ya smugglin’ these days, chicken McNuggets?” he jabs. “Jango, loved you in that Quentin Tarantino film Jango Unemployed!”
Thursday’s Conan featured interviews with Abrams and the Force Awakens cast, including Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Oscar Isaac, Adam Driver, Lupita Nyong’o and Gwendoline Christie.