The sketch opened with the president reminiscing about his first 100 days in the Oval Office and all that he’s accomplished in that time, from getting nominating Neil Gorsuch to the Supreme Court to… not much else.
“Trump” also bragged about dropping the “mother of all bombs” on Syria – “It’s so big and fat, it almost looks like me in my golf clothes” – as well as nearly Twitter-goading North Korea into war.
“Have you seen my tweets about North Korea? This could all be over by Monday,” the president said of his term. “I take North Korea very seriously. Kim Jong-un is a bad, bad guy. He’s a warmonger, he’s quick to anger, he’s a huge narcissist, he’s got a stupid little haircut; I mean, why would a little man like that run an entire country?”
However, “Trump” is tasked with one major decision: Choosing a top adviser between two bickering parties: His son-in-law Jared Kushner (played by host Jimmy Fallon) and Steve Bannon (played by the Grim Reaper).
In true Apprentice fashion, “Trump” turns the decision into a reality competition, airing each contestant’s pros and cons before ultimately deciding who will stay in the White House and who will “join Kellyanne Conway in the basement.”
The president ultimately goes with Kushner. “Steve, you may be smart, but I once caught you eating a live pig in the Roosevelt Room,” Trump says. “Steve, I’m sorry but this is goodbye. Take him back to hell.”