Regarding the controversial firing of the FBI director, Trump accidentally negated the explanations doled out by his press secretaries during the NBC interview, a mistake that SNL seized on.
“I fired him because of Russia. I thought ‘I don’t like that. I should fire him,'” Baldwin’s Trump said in the cold open. Michael Che’s Holt then pointed out that is obstruction of justice and wondered aloud, “That’s it? Did I get him? Is it all over?” before being informed “nothing matters anymore.”
“That’s right, nothing’s gonna stop me because I have the Republicans in the palm of my hand,” Baldwin’s Trump said before ringing a bell, which summoned Paul Ryan holding a tray of two scoops of ice cream.
The president is then forced to fight off comparisons between his administration and Nixon’s during Watergate. “I am nothing like Nixon because I am not a crook, plus I bet Nixon only got one scoop of ice cream for dessert, but I get two.”
Holt pointed out another difference between Nixon and Trump: Nixon actually won the popular vote.
On SNL, Trump again (falsely) reiterates that he invented the economic term “priming the pump,” although the definition has grossly changed: “It’s when I tug on myself a half-hour before Melania comes in so she can find it easier, okay?”
After an especially WTF week at the White House, Holt asked Trump to pump the brakes on a presidency that’s become a 24-7 reality show.
“Too bad because this is gonna run for eight years, okay? Even though it should’ve been canceled months ago, but don’t worry: We have plenty of fun plot twists coming up,” Trump told Holt. “A lot of your favorite characters will be coming back: Kim Jong Un, Carter Page, even that little psycho Steve Miller. Also, I don’t want to give away too much but in an upcoming episode we will find out that Kellyanne was dead this whole time.”