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Samantha Bee Sets Telekinetic Fire to Brett Kavanaugh Headlines

“When it comes to allegations of sexual assault, it’s like what I say about rat-tails: One is too many and absolutely disqualifies you from the Supreme Court,” says ‘Full Frontal’ host

Samantha Bee went full Carrie on Wednesday’s Full Frontal, setting a telekinetic fire to a “shit tornado” of a week that found Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh facing – and denying – more sexual misconduct allegations.

“Watching the sexual-assaulter-in-chief [President Trump] do some classic victim blaming is just one reason I’ve been setting fires with my mind this week,” Bee said, opening the show. “But all of the fires are inspired by Supreme Court nominee – and man who definitely wears a popped collar under his robes – Brett Kavanaugh,” who has now been accused of sexual misconduct by three women. 

“When it comes to allegations of sexual assault, it’s like what I say about rat-tails,” Bee cracked. “One is too many and absolutely disqualifies you from the Supreme Court.”

Christine Blasey Ford, Deborah Ramirez and Julie Swetnick have made public allegations against Kavanaugh. In a statement tweeted Wednesday by her lawyer, Swetnick came forward with her accusation on Wednesday, claiming that she observed Kavanaugh at parties where women were made “disoriented” with drugs or alcohol and “gang raped.”

The Supreme Court hopeful denied any sexual misconduct in a recent Fox News interview, claiming that in high school he was “focused on academics and athletics, going to church every Sunday at Little Flower, working on my service projects, and friendship, friendship with my fellow classmates and friendship with girls from the local all girls Catholic schools.”

“OK, bitch,” Bee fired back after watching the clip. “Please don’t try to act like you went to high school in an episode of VeggieTales when your own yearbook says you were a member of something called the ‘100 Kegs or Bust’ club.'”

The comedian ended the segment with a recommendation to the judge: “Whatever Kavanaugh did to women in high school and college, a great way to persuade us that he’s not that guy anymore would be to stop gas-lighting women now.”

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