Why do Americans vote on Tuesdays? Last Week Tonight pondered that question – and suggested some logical alternatives – during a recent segment of their “How Is This Still a Thing?” series.
As the show’s booming narrator explained, voting on Tuesday dates back to an outdated 1845 law, which honored the Sabbath and earmarked Mondays for citizens forced to travel long distances to polling stations.
“Yes, we vote on Tuesdays because of the Sabbath, making voting day the only thing in American life still scheduled around Sundays, other than the operating hours of Chick Fil-A and new episodes of America’s Funniest Home Videos,” the narrator deadpanned. “Oh, that’s right, motherfuckers – that [show’s]’s still on.”
Since 13 U.S. states don’t offer mail-in voting, many Americans can only vote by taking time off work, adjusting their busy schedules and often battling through long lines. (“All the wait times of Disney World, all the fun of the fucking DMV,” the narrator cracked.)
“We could expand early voting, move Election Day to a weekend or keep it where it is and declare it a national holiday like it is in Puerto Rico, where their turnout is not only consistently higher than the 50 states, but their voting day is consistently more awesome,” he continued, showing Puerto Rican scenes of celebration. “But until we do that, we’re going to be forced to squeeze in voting in between work, doctors’ appointments or a few quick, rim-rattling Nerf dunks – just so farmers who have been dead for more than a century won’t have an excuse not to miss church.”