James Corden was soundly defeated Tuesday night when he went head-to-head in a rap battle with Oscar winner Helen Mirren.
The pair’s verbal tussle during the “Drop the Mic” segment of the Late Late Show kicked off with a few biting words. Mirren immediately called for fellow Brit Corden to “Bow down, James. Bow down. Kneel, baby. Kneel,” to which the late night host cheekily responded, “We’re not at home anymore. I’m the king in this studio.”
Corden then kicked off the first round, setting the stage and the tone for the no-holds barred battle.
“Helen is basically an icon in her craft / When I heard she wanted to battle me, all I could do was laugh / Back home she’s considered the actress you have to fear / We’re in America now / Meryl Streep lives here,” he spat, later adding, “She played the Queen but now she’s a royal pain in my ass.”
Mirren kept a poker face as she ripped into Corden with her own first verse. “I’m the one you should fear / Wherever I go / If I’m a pain in your ass / That leaves a lot of room to grow / You stand out, but for games and banter / Other shows do comedy, you just pander / You thought you could beat me / Sorry, game over / I’ll cook this beef, his wife and her lover / He’s obsessed with my exes / Sorry James, I’m not single / But you know I taught your little mister to tingle.”
Corden’s response: “Helen was impressive, that’s a real change / Played the Queen six times, wow that’s real range / And now everyone thinks you’re classy, but it’s all for show / The accent only sounds smart, trust me, I know.”
Mirren’s second round response was even more scathing than her first. “I’ve played the Queen / But also warriors and witches / Crime lords and wizards, bosses and bitches / Detectives and whores / From Altman to Shakespeare / The only role you ever played is ‘Guy Who Begged to Be Here’ / Poor James Corden will never be satisfied / Until you find a way to get attention deep-fried / But this battle is fun / I’m glad you asked / It’s the only bit you didn’t find in Jimmy Fallon’s trash.”
But it was the third round that was the clincher. Though the late night host looked like he had won after his third go, Mirren had him beat with the best comebacks yet.
“You fucked up, James / You desperate tater tot / A woman’s worth isn’t credits or who says she’s hot / Boys’ club / Bullshit / I’m done with that crap / You’re welcome for this headline: ‘Helen Mirren Can Rap’ / Compare me to Meryl, Judi, Maggie, but why? / They’re not my competition / They’re my ride or die / See, women are a force to be reckoned with / And I reckon I wrecked you / You’ve been to hell and back, bitch.”
Watch the duo’s exchange in the video above.