Not used to such a primo late-night spot, Ansari, as Jindal, cracked in the opening moments, “I’m used to appearing on C-SPAN at, like, 2 a.m. right before they start airing those NutriBullet commercials, so this is crazy!”
But the Louisiana governor was ready to bring the facts. First, he corrected Fallon by noting he’s risen in the polls from 1 to 2 percent, a difference as significant in politics as it is in milk. Elsewhere, he spoke about scooping up constituents at rallies who accidentally thought they were attending “a meet and greet with the guy from Big Bang Theory.”
Jindal also discussed his controversial opinions on global warming, and science in general. “I’m the only candidate that doesn’t believe in any science, period,” Jindal boasted, before discrediting such “science myths” as photosynthesis.
Finally, Jindal announced his plan to best a candidate like Donald Trump, calling out the mogul’s questionable business decisions, like spending $1 million on his “Make America Great Again” hats.
“That’s like twice what I spent on my whole campaign combined,” Jindal said. “Which is why I’ve made my own line of fiscally responsible hats that show what true conservative spending is.” Jindal then doffed his microscopic new campaign hat, a surefire hit that cost just 25 cents to make.