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50 Songs in the Key of Kardashian

From Kanye love letters to Eminem disses, the top tracks to reference reality TV’s first family

the kardashians

The Kardashians attend E! 2012 Upfront in New York City on April 30th, 2012.

Dimitrios Kambouris/E!/NBCU Photo Bank/Getty

Kanye West isn't the only artist in hip-hop to take on Kim Kardashian as his muse: rappers have been rhyming about the reality TV superstar and her relatives for years. The Kardashian-Jenner clan has become the genre's primary reference point for everything from wealth to sex to power, and the songs name-dropping the family and its members – from Caitlyn to Kris to Robert Sr. to every single sister – range from brilliant to grotesque. Here are the 50 that matter most.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Eminem, “We Made You” (2009)

Lyrics: "Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man/She stomped him just 'cause he asked to put his hands/On her massive gluteus maximus again/Squeeze it and squish it and pass it to a friend"

Backstory: On "We Made You," Eminem guides a TMZ tour through the wasteland of America popular culture, circa 2009. To the left, there's a couplet poking fun at the John Mayer–Jennifer Aniston relationship, and to the right is a line about squeezing Kim K's butt. Listen as it morphs into a plea for Lindsay Lohan to break up with Samantha Ronson and return to dating men.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

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Young Money Featuring Lil Chuckee and Lil Twist, “Girl, I Got You” (2009)

Lyrics: "If we had a team, I’d be Reggie Bush/You'd be Kim Kardashian, your body so amazing"

Backstory: Two of Young Money's youngest members, Lil Twist and Lil Chuckee, teamed up for this heavily auto-tuned preteen love song off of the label's first compilation album, We Are Young Money. Kim and her football player ex-beau Reggie Bush serve as one of the kids' many examples of a perfect love story: they also cite Will and Jada Pinkett Smith and the characters Rashad and NewNew from the movie ATL.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

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J Dilla Featuring Black Thought, “Reality Check” (2009)

Lyrics: "I'm so through with women/Who watch reruns of the Real World with dinner/And Kim Kardashian, moms and Bruce Jenner"

Backstory: Roots MC Black Thought takes to an unused J Dilla beat to express his frustration with a girl who watches Channel Zero. His verses include some 50 reality show references, and these lines include two big ones.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Snoop Dogg, “Whatever U Do” (2008)

Lyrics: "Look at the place I'm in/I never fucked Superhead or Kim Kardashian/It's a disgrace to yourself"

Backstory: By 2008, Calvin Broadus Jr. had grown into a family man, hosting Snoop Dogg's Father Hood and dissing peers who preferred to sleep around. He did the latter here by name-dropping two famous women: Kim and Confessions of a Video Vixen author Karrine Steffans.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

88-Keys Featuring Kanye West “Stay Up (Viagra)” (2008)

Lyrics: "Try imagining/Something passionate/Between you, Cassie and Kim Kardashian"

Backstory: Behold: West's first lyrical reference to Kim, occurring four years after they met and four years before they started dating. Okayplayer favorite 88-Keys attempted to make a West-ian transition from producer to solo artist with this take on erectile dysfunction, and his friend contributed a pair of verses filled with mental aides such as this.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

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Chamillionaire, “All Around the World” (2008)

Lyrics: "They be like you look exactly like it's him/Kardashian, it looks exactly like a Kim."

Backstory: This is another one of those "car dashin'" puns. Flowing over the "Paid in Full" beat recycled for Lloyd's "Girls Around the World," Chamillionaire offers some clever couplets. Unfortunately, nothing he says compares to Lil Wayne's Rakim-in-love riff from the original.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Craig Mack, “Flava in Ya Ear” (1994)

Lyrics: "This bad MC with stamina like Bruce Jenner/a winner"

Backstory: A less confident rapper would have tried to bend "stamina," "Jenner" and "winner" until they rhymed, but Mack lets the unchanged words sit side by side by side, all sounding slightly off. Sadly, the line proved untrue: his only other hit, "Get Down," was released just months later.

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HOLLYWOOD, CA - AUGUST 17: Khloe Kardasian, Kylie Jenner, Kris Kardashian, Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, and Kendall Jenner attend the Kardashian Kollection Launch Party at The Colony on August 17, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

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Das EFX, “Crazy Wit Da Books” (1993)

Lyrics: "The super-duper trooper, oops I'm no beginner/So watch me get loose and run shit like Bruce Jenner"

Backstory: On "Crazy Wit Da Books," Das EFX claim that they "got the knack to freak a track like they were sprintin' in some Asics" and deliver the internal rhymes to prove it. The Jenner reference keeps with the running metaphor, but the song's most creative reference comes one verse later: "I'm followed by your camp like John Cougar" – line break – "Mellen."