Samantha Bee finds Facebook's privacy policies disgusting. On Thursday's Full Frontal, the host compared Mark Zuckerberg's company to a flesh-eating monster. While it's capable of "amazing things," she said, "you can't be surprised when a human skin-eating robot starts skinning people. That's what you built it to do!"
Bee summarized Facebook's recent controversy regarding privacy breaches that Zuckerberg to testified on before the Senate last month. "It reads Facebook messages; if you have an Android, it can save your call and text data," she said. "Even if you've never used Facebook, you may still have a 'shadow profile' that they created based on information your friends unknowingly shared. 'Shadow Profile' is also the name of my tasteful independent Cinemax movie."
Facebook's algorithm, Bee says, thrives on hate speech. She pointed out Facebook's "nonsensical" community standards, recalling how a Facebook event encouraging motorists to run over Black Lives Matter protestors remained active. "But don't worry: Facebook moderators did take down dozens of posts that said 'men are scum,' so at least some people's feelings aren't getting hurt," she said. "I'm pretty sure Facebook's community standards are just a guy wearing a shirt that says 'You Do You, Bro!'"
These are the kinds of posts that receive a lot of human engagement, she argued. "Facebook profits off of human attention, and the best ways to hold humans' attention are also the worst things about us: tribalism, fear, hate, Minion memes," she cracked. "Facebook's product is us – our clicks, our personal information."
Bee ended with a direct plea to Zuckerberg – while also cleverly protecting her show's own Facebook progress. "Hey, you oatmeal-colored tadpole man, you better knock it off with the 'Who, me? I'm just a cute little millennial' shtick ... You're one of the most powerful men in the world. You built this monster, and it made you rich. It is your job to kill it ... I mean, if you don't mind, sir, please don't take our Facebook videos. Don't forget to like and share!"