35. Lee Garner Sr.
Showcase Episode: "Indian Summer"
The Lucky Strike patriarch is even creepier than his son, which is saying something. He takes pride in his tobacco ("It's toasted!") and takes offense when the meddling Yankees in the Federal Trade Council suggest there could be something poisonous about it — might as well live in Russia. He fumes about the money he wastes on lawyers: "I've seen a girl fight harder on a first date than these Beltway shuttlecocks!"