Nicolas Cage is at his bugfuck best. Not in Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, a dishwater dull sequel to the hellishly bad 2007 original, but in a special appearance a few weeks back on Saturday Night Live in which Andy Samberg brilliantly played Cage and Cage did a Cage so wonderfully demented you could forgive him anything, even Bangkok Dangerous. Citing the Cage rule for Cage movies, the actor clearly stated that “every line of dialogue must be either whispered or screamed.” That definitely applies to Ghost Rider 2, in which Cage repeats his Marvel Comics role as Johnny Blaze, the motorcycle stunt driver who makes a deal with the devil, a deal that keeps turning him into a flaming skeleton head. I, too, felt my head would explode if I had to endure another minute of this blather from Cage and directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. As for the 3D, I’ve never seen worse. In a recent interview, Cage declared that his movies are “countercritical.” Not really. One look at the dreadful mess that is Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance will turn your whisper into a primal Cage scream: MAKE THIS MOVIE STOP!