But before we could get to her big send-off, SNL dropped a cold open featuring Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) hawking his NFT collection—a choice that even got the former president roundly mocked by some of his closest allies.
“We call them nifties cause they’re so neat,” Trump explained. “They feature incredible artwork pertaining to my life and my career. For example, when I was an astronaut, or riding a big elephant. Trump cards are each ninety-nine dollars. Seems like a lot, seems like a scam, and in many ways it is, but we love the Trump cards. We just love them. You can also get ‘em for free by just going online and looking at them. Maybe taking a screenshot. I don’t know.”
“And the best part is: each card comes with an automatic chance to win an exclusive mystery prize where you get to pick anything out of this nice box,” he continued, holding a crate overflowing with classified information.
Trump then introduced his “third least embarrassing child,” Donald Trump Jr. (Mikey Day), to help him with the sales pitch.
“I know what you’re thinking: ninety-nine dollars? You can get two grams for that!” Don Jr. exclaimed, before introducing a Christmas CD he’s selling from his fiancée, Kimberly Guilfoyle.
With that, Cecily Strong’s Guilfoyle emerged in a Christmas-red dress.
“Thank you! And I know you’re gonna love this Christmas album that I’m calling, Now That’s What No One Calls Music!” she said. “And I guarantee you’ll SLEEP IN HEAVENLY PEACE!”