The bit originated from Ansari’s book, Modern Romance, which examines dating in the digital age. The book includes a section about the best and worst ways to text a potential partner. Fallon and Ansari, obviously, focused on the latter, like one man’s unflappable dedication to finding out if the woman he was texting was having a good Fourth of July.
Other exchanges included a lengthy love paean after a first date that received a flat “No” in response, and an unfortunate auto-correct that changed “at Ansley” to “anally,” in reference to where this person drank his or her coffee. Another found a woman dragging a guy through his awful pick-up line — in which he misspelled “angel” as “angle” — and did not know the difference.
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Elsewhere on Tonight, Ansari talked about Donald Trump’s spat with Khizr and Ghazala Khan, calling the Gold Star parents the Drake to the Republican nominee’s Meek Mill. “The guy goes, ‘You have a black soul,’ which is the coldest shit I’ve ever heard. I heard that was gonna be a line in Tupac’s ‘Hit ‘Em Up,’ and he’s like, ‘Nah, nah, it’s too mean. We can’t go there.'”