“I met with leaders from China, Egypt and Jordan. Gorsuch was confirmed, the media is saying nice things and no one is talking about Russia,” the president said of the past week. “Wow, what a difference just 59 tomahawk missiles can make.”
During the cold open sketch, “Trump” fielded questions from his voters, including a coal miner who said he didn’t care whether the mines reopened, he just wanted a steady job.
“Sorry hombre, it’s all coal,” Trump retorted. “In Trump’s America, men work in two places: Coal mines and Goldman Sachs.”
Over the course of the town hall meeting, Trump pledges to strip away everything some of his voters rely on – Obamacare, government-sponsored rehab, after school programs, minimum wage but not lead-filled water (“We’re gonna keep that,” the president said) – while still somehow maintaining their support.
“That’s why I came here. You people stand by me no matter what,” Trump told his supporters. “It’s like you found a finger on your chili, but you still eat the chili because you told everyone you love chili. It’s tremendous.”
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Upon leaving, the billionaire reminds his voters, “Keep eating that finger chili and remember: I’m one of you, I’m one of you.”
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