Less concerning outright was the CDC’s advice for Halloween this year: while trick-or-treating during a pandemic was discouraged, the organization recommended alternate activities like carving pumpkins, outdoor scavenger hunts and virtual costume contests. “Of course the scariest part of a virtual costume contest is knowing that the participants are probably not wearing pants,” Colbert joked. “It’s gonna be Spider-Man up top, Porky Pig downtown.”
Legitimately scary from the CDC, however, was an update to their Covid-19 guidance last week that stated airborne particles can remain in the air, be breathed in by others and travel beyond six feet. But then on Monday, the CDC removed that addendum, saying it was a draft version that was posted in error.
“Well that’s embarrassing, you published a first draft?” Colbert quipped. “I mean, ‘Come up with joke here about how this is embarrassing, maybe a metaphor, figure it out later, note: CBS lawyers won’t let you have jokes that involve masturbation.’”
Colbert ended by suggesting he’s taking much what the CDC says with a grain of salt for the foreseeable future, noting a recent report that Trump appointees delayed a CDC study because it showed significantly higher coronavirus infections than the official number, which was considered “in conflict” with Trump’s messaging.
“So they’re trying to change reality just to fit what the president says, which explains why the CDC says the new recommended serving size for food is bucket,” Colbert joked.