Watch Stephen Colbert Bulldoze Trump's State of the Union - Rolling Stone
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Watch Stephen Colbert Bulldoze Trump’s State of the Union in Live Monologue

“State of the Union: Always a big night. Everybody who was anybody who was not indicted was there,” Late Show host said of president’s speech

Stephen Colbert dissected and demolished President Trump’s State of the Union during The Late Show‘s post-address live episode. The host spent 16 minutes cracking punchlines about Trump’s economic boasts, illegal immigration rhetoric and thinly veined threats to Democrats about “ridiculous partisan investigations.”

“This was not a particularly great speech,” Colbert flatly stated. “But what it lacked in quality it made up in length. This speech was like watching paint lie… State of the Union: Always a big night. Everybody who was anybody who was not indicted was there.”

The late-night host recapped the speech’s most notable lines, including the president touting that the U.S. is “considered far and away the hottest economy anywhere in the world.” Referencing Trump’s controversial quote about his daughter Ivanka from a 2006 interview on The View, Colbert cracked, “It is so hot, if it wasn’t my economy, perhaps I’d be dating it.”

Trump repeatedly spoke about the booming economy in his address, calling it an “economic miracle” that can only be stopped by “foolish wars, politics” or partisan investigations. “You heard me: You get the truth or a functioning economy, OK?” Colbert mocked. “Keep in mind: I turned this sucker off for a month over a wall. You think I wont burn this place to the ground to stay out of jail? I’m just saying — nice country you’ve got here. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.”

Colbert also mined some comedy from Trump’s line, “If there is going to be peace and legislation, there cannot be war and investigation.” “Nice try on that argument,” the host said. “‘You can’t have legislation and investigation. Who ever heard of law and order? Come on, you have to choose.'”

The host even managed to work in a reference to that one time Trump stood looked into the sky during the 2017 solar eclipse without protective glasses. During the speech, the president encouraged Americans to “search for the tallest summit and set out sights on the brightest star,” to which Colbert cracked in reply, “That I believe because I actually remember seeing Trump set his sights on the brightest star.”

Colbert later analyzed the State of the Union address with the hosts of CBS This Morning, who joined for a Late Show interview. John Dickerson predicted a difference of tone between “Donald Trump the tweeter” and “Donald Trump the teleprompter,” and Norah O’Donnell singled out the president’s “threat” about the “ridiculous investigations.” Gayle King added, “I did learn that if it wasn’t for him, we’d be at war with North Korea.”


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