Stephen Colbert Mocks Joe Biden's Website Gaffe in Live Monologue - Rolling Stone
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Stephen Colbert Mocks Joe Biden’s Website Gaffe in Post-Debate Live Monologue

Late Show host held second live show, dubbed “This Time It’s Not All White People,” following second CNN event

One night after roasting the first round of Democratic presidential contenders, Stephen Colbert returned Wednesday for a second live post-debate breakdown, dubbed “This Time It’s Not All White People.” His primary target, like many of the primary participants, was former Vice President Joe Biden, who faced political “[attacks] from all sides.”

The comedian noted how Biden “ran out of steam” while trying to explain his health care plan. “They can buy into the gold plan, and they won’t have to pay — anyway,” the Democratic front-runner said, cutting himself off. “I don’t know what just happened,” Colbert cracked. “Biden just joined the ranks of history’s greatest orators. Who can forget Lincoln’s great speech: ‘Four score and…ah, you get the idea.”

After contentious moments with several candidates, Biden tried to put his foot down: “I find it fascinating: Everybody’s talking about terrible I am on these issues,” he said. “Barack Obama knew exactly who I was.” Colbert finished that thought: “an insurance policy for voters who get nervous when they hear rap music.”

Biden was also responsible — accidentally — for the debate’s funniest, most awkward moment, when he botched an attempt to tell viewers his website, conflating his campaign URL with a text donation number. “If you agree with me, go to Joe 3-0-3-3-0 and help me in this fight,” he said, puzzlingly, and Colbert pounced on the confusion: “Go to Joe 3-0-3-3-0 and send an invite to and ring up Pennsylvania 6500 and ask for Lulu. She’ll show you a good time.”

While Tuesday’s round one boasted the party’s leading progressives, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, the second evening was “all about the moderates.” That list included Colorado Senator Michael Bennet and Washington Governor Jay Inslee, two lesser-known names on a national level. “Michael Bennett spoke, followed by Jay Inslee,” Colbert said. “Or vice-versa — it’s really a coin-toss.”

The host fired a couple punchlines at the expense of New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, who argued during the debate that “we need a nominee who doesn’t know the meaning of ‘impossible.'” Colbert joked, “Trump’s got ya beat there — he doesn’t know the meaning of thousands of words.” Outlining her strategy to defeat President Trump in 2020, Gillibrand noted she can “talk to those white women in the suburbs who voted for Trump and explain to them what white privilege actually is.” Colbert: “They will accept me into their midst for I come with offerings of chardonnay and Skinny Pop.”

At one point, entrepreneur Andrew Yang flaunted his signature campaign slogan: “The opposite of Donald Trump is an Asian man who likes math.” Colbert disagreed with that assessment: “Judges? [buzzer] Oh, I’m so sorry. The opposite of Donald Trump is a black woman who has spell-check.”


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