The segment opened with President Donald Trump’s bizarre press conference Monday, where he was supposed to discuss his new trade deal but was inevitably side-tracked by questions about the FBI’s new investigation into the allegations of sexual assault against Kavanaugh. During the press conference, Trump condescended to and shouted down multiple female reporters, prompting Meyers to throw up a picture of Kavanaugh and crack, “It’s almost like [Trump] saw someone else getting attention for acting like a maniac on TV and thought, I can top that.”
After a brief detour to discuss Trump’s weirdly flourishing bromance with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un, Meyers returned to the FBI investigation into the Kavanaugh allegations. Last Friday, just hours after being confronted by protestors in the Capitol, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake vowed not to vote for Kavanaugh until the FBI had completed a short investigation. The surprise move caused Senator Chuck Grassley to suddenly end the judiciary committee meeting, citing an obscure “two-hour rule,” that confused many of his colleagues.
“It’s like watching your grandparents trying to operate a parking meter,” Meyers cracked. “‘Did we get here at noon, when do we have to put more money in? It’s two hours, it’s a two-hour rule!'”
While the White House agreed to delay the Kavanaugh vote for an investigation, early reports revealed that the Trump administration was significantly hindering the scope of the investigation. Though the White House has since ordered the FBI to speak with any witness they deem necessary, Meyers still skewered the attempt to inhibit it.
“If you start out an investigation by listing all the things you’re not investigating that’s not a real investigation. That’s like, going on a trip to Paris and saying, ‘I don’t want to see the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre or Notre-Dame. I’m going from the airport to the Hard Rock and back to the airport.'”