Samantha Bee delivered a scathing roast of Donald Trump at the second annual Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner in Washington, D.C. Friday.
With the real White House Correspondents Dinner taking a comedy-free route after Michelle Wolf’s controversial speech in 2018, and with Trump still not attending the annual event, Bee warned the president, “I’m going to roast you as if you are here tonight.”
“I thought long and hard about what I would say if I was ever in the same room as you. I mean, what I’d say after ‘Hey, let go! I’m not a bowling bowl.’ It’s funny because he’s a sexual assaulter,” Bee said.
“There are so many you could say about this president: That’s he vicious, vindictive, stupid, unattractive, unloved and will die alone, but what can we say that Melania hasn’t already said?”
Bee then called President Trump – not “Apprentice Host Trump,” who was the subject a Comedy Central roast – a “coward” for his fear of being made fun of by a comedian at the real White House Correspondents Dinner.
“Here are some people that are braving than you: Christine Blasey Ford, 23 women who said you sexually assaulted or harassed them, the undocumented immigrants who worked at Mar a Lago and spoke out against you.”
Bee’s monologue also tackled the long-awaited Mueller Report. “The Mueller Report finally came out last week and of course there’s still a lot we don’t know,” Bee said.
“I don’t want to say the Mueller Report is excessively redacted but there was so much black on it, Trump demanded to see its birth certificate. There was so much black ink, the Virginia governor is dressing up as it for Halloween. It is so black that Trump thinks it should get the death penalty for a crime it didn’t commit.”
A year after the Michelle Wolf controversy, Bee was careful not to joke about press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ physical appearance. However, the Full Frontal host said of Sanders, “On the inside: Hideous as a pinworm on the anus.”
“Trump is a classic bully,” Bee also noted. “So he loves to push people around, but he’s too insecure to handle even the slightest ridicule.”
Proceeds from Not the White House Correspondents’ Dinner benefitted the Committee to Protect Journalists.