John Oliver Blasts Jeff Sessions' Bible Defense - Rolling Stone
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John Oliver Blasts Jeff Sessions’ Bible Defense for Migrant Family Separation

“The Bible isn’t a government document,” said ‘Last Week Tonight’ host. “From a policy perspective, he might as well be citing ‘Green Eggs and Ham'”

On Sunday’s Last Week Tonight, John Oliver furiously criticized U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ new policy of prosecuting all immigrants who cross the border illegally, which has already resulted in roughly 500 children being forcibly separated from their parents. The comedian targeted the Trump administration’s chorus-like false assertion that the policy is an extension of the law – both man-made and Biblical.

President Trump and White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders have both cited the move as upholding a Democrat-created law – despite the fact, Oliver noted, that “there is no law that suddenly required separating parents from their children.”

“Sessions basically started a policy of incarcerating people who crossed the border illegally, knowing fully well that that incarceration would mean they were separated from their children, many of whom are less than 10 years old with no clear plan as to when they might be reunited,” Oliver said. “That is objectively awful, and yet Trump explicitly argued that Sessions had no choice.”

When confronted by the press on the inconsistency, Trump emphasized that he wants laws that are “beautiful, humane, but strong” – a description that Oliver enjoyed dismantling. “‘Beautiful, humane, but strong?'” he pondered. “That is not how you to describe a law – that’s how you describe a Viola Davis character in a movie called ‘It Hasn’t Even Been Written Yet, But She’ll Still Win the Oscar.'”

The host tore into Sessions and Sanders for repeatedly pointing to Christianity as a basis for the policy. “The Bible isn’t a government document,” he said. “From a policy perspective, he might as well be citing Green Eggs and Ham, saying, ‘We must keep children in a box/ We must keep children with a fox.'”

“Lots of things are said in the Bible, but that doesn’t mean you should do them,” he added. “At one point the Bible demands that the head of the government get 100 foreskins. But I don’t think that Sanders is looking for Congress to gather together and start slicing dicks. And the Trump administration might want to go a little easy on holding the Bible up as a moral code – because let’s remember that the Bible is not a big fan of adultery, gluttony, covering your neighbor’s wife, pride or wrath.”


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