Earlier this week, Trump announced that states on lockdown due to the coronavirus pandemic may soon be ready to reopen and invigorate the damaged economy, even before his previously set May 1st deadline.
“Wow, May 1st is two weeks away,” Colbert said. “It’s gonna take me that long to find my pants.”
Echoing health experts, Colbert explained that there needs to be extensive coronavirus testing before people can return to work — upwards of 22 million tests a day — and right now, tests are just too scarce. So far, the United States has tested 3.1 million people in total, which, as Colbert put it in perspective, is less than one-tenth the number of viewers who watched Tiger King in its first 10 days on Netflix.
Colbert also mocked pro-Trump protestors in Ohio and Michigan, who this week demanded that the governor reopen businesses despite the ongoing outbreak. Protestors demonstrated outside their respective state houses, blocked traffic (not that there’s much traffic right now, with shelter-in-place orders in effect), and waved giant flags, including Confederate ones.
“Because nothing says ‘never surrender’ like a Confederate flag,” Colbert said with a wink.