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The Rosebud Motel (a.k.a., Hockley Motel in real life), where the Rose Family lived after their fortune was seized for six hilarious seasons of Schitt’s Creek, recently hit the real estate market in Mono, Ontario.
Although it would be the ultimate piece of memorabilia, the $1.6 million price tag probably places it squarely out of reach for most fans of the riches-to-rags story that first aired on Pop TV and more recently found a second life on Netflix. But don’t worry, we’ve scoured the “breeding ground for freaks” (that’s the internet in David speak) to find more budget-friendly gifts and merchandise to broadcast unwavering support for the Emmy Awards-sweeping sitcom.
Whether buying a special something for yourself or a gift to give your best wishes and warmest regards to a fellow fan, the following items are guaranteed to keep anyone from acting like a disgruntled pelican.
1. The Complete Schitt’s Creek Collection DVD Box Set
Right now you can watch Schitt’s Creek on repeat on Netflix or in syndication but that may not always be the case. If you snatch up this six-season set of DVDs, you’ll not only be prepared for the day the streamer breaks your heart and wipes it from their inventory but you will also be able to watch all the behind-the-scenes featurettes, bloopers, deleted scenes, extended clips and webisodes.
2. Schitt’s Creek Wall Art
Colorful themed art from Etsy and Society6 will keep your place from giving off any “screamnastic” vibes. There’s quite a variety of prints and embroidery from poppy caricatures and vintage tourism advertising to a poster announcing the community theater production of Cabaret. And if you don’t find anything you like, you can always create a wig wall installation.
3. Schitt’s Creek Face Masks
Despite light at the end of our pandemic tunnel, the harsh reality is that we aren’t quite done with social distancing and mask-wearing to protect ourselves and others from spreading or catching the virus. But just because you’re “trying very hard not to connect with people right now” doesn’t mean your choice of face-covering has to be boring.
4. Schitt’s Creek Graphic T-shirts
Whether you go with a design featuring names, a memorable joke or the Rose Apothecary logo, we love this fashion journey for you. Or your dog.
5. Schitt’s Creek-Inspired Kitchen Gear
Be prepared when it comes time to fold in the cheese by stocking your kitchen with novelty tea towels, wooden spoons and even a cookbook featuring menu items from Café Tropical.
Don’t make them ask thrice for these towels.
This five-piece bamboo spoon-and-spatula set puts the fun in functional as art and memorable quotes from the series are burned into them.
Pick up groceries or mall pretzels with this stylish reusable bag featuring caricatures of the main characters.
This cookbook features noms inspired by the Café Tropical menu, Jocelyn’s home-cooked meals (Dorito casserole, anyone?), Rosebud Motel’s continental breakfast, Bob’s bagels and more.
All this cooking is bound to make you thirsty. There’s a glass or two for that.
6. Schitt’s Creek Home Decor
Rugs, pillows and other home goods will let people know you are a David and company diehard. The Warmest Regards Sunshine Rug, which comes in two sizes, and the “Hello Bébés” doormat provide a, well, warm welcome to your home when you have guests over for a murder mystery party like Twyla.
When you bust out the Herb Ertlinger fruit wine, you’re gonna need unpretentious coasters.
Plant moms will love this kiln-fired pot. It’s the right size for a small succulent or herb plant.
The Warmest Regards throw pillow comes in indoor or outdoor material.
7. Beekman 1802 Rose Apothecary Candles & Skincare
Sharon Springs, NY-based Beekman 1802 has its own Rose Apothecary collection of products inspired by the show. Its whipped body cream, goat milk soap, tinted lip balm and body milk will leave skin as soft as one of David’s couture cashmere sweaters. Meanwhile, the votive trio, which is hand-poured using paraben-free 100 percent soy wax, blends Beekman 1802’s heirloom rose scent with jasmine and neroli blossoms. A perfume featuring notes of ivy leaves, rose, jasmine, neroli blossom, geranium, and sandalwood will debut in late April, in time to gift it to your own Moira Rose.
8. Schitt’s Creek Saint Roses Prayer Candles
This set of four glass votives is a play on Catholic prayer candles featuring the fab four family members as saints. Perfect for anyone who considered watching the six-season arc a religious experience.
9. Ostrich Nap & Travel Pillow
Moira used one to try and drown out the sweet sounds of amor next door at the motel in Season 2. But this silly looking yet effective pillow can help any user get some shuteye while on a plane or train, in a noisy office or simply in a room that’s too bright as its immersive design reduces ambient sounds and light.
10. Schitt’s Creek Funko Pop! Figures
The Rose family has even been given the Funko treatment. Finding the original five collectible figurines is harder now but not impossible. It might be easier to pre-order the second-wave Target exclusives — there’s a set of David and Moira cooking enchiladas and trying to figure out what burning smells like, and there’s a single toy of Moira in her costume from the Crows Have Eyes B-movie gig.
11. Patrick & David’s Wedding Jigsaw Puzzle
This gift combines trendy pandemic pastime and simply the best, most sentimental episode of the sitcom.
12. Schitt’s Creek David Rose Wrapping Paper
Unless you plan to bedazzle your own, this wrapping paper featuring David in his lightning bolt sweater and signature sunglasses will add the perfect finishing touch to a Schitt’s Creek gift.