Watch Stephen Colbert Give Ted Cruz New Slogan: 'Abandon All Hope' - Rolling Stone
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Watch Stephen Colbert Give Ted Cruz New Slogan: ‘Abandon All Hope’

‘Late Show’ host suggests possible GOP nominees in event of contested convention, including “bald eagle wearing a pair of pleated Khakis”

Ted Cruz is gaining ground on Donald Trump in the delegate total, but as Stephen Colbert observed during Thursday’s Late Show, the GOP race is hurtling toward a contested convention. Many high-ranking Republicans have been reluctant to endorse Cruz: “Idaho Senator and inappropriately chipper funeral director Jim Risch” issued the most backhanded endorsement of all-time, saying he arrived at the candidate through a process of elimination – and because “at this point, there’s no choice.”

Considering the Texas senator’s current appeal, Colbert arrived at a new campaign slogan, “Ted Cruz: Abandon All Hope.” (“‘Endorsement’ means throwing up in your mouth a little bit, right?” he cracked.) 

With the race between Cruz and Trump heating up, Colbert considered the reality of a contested convention, wherein “no candidate holds a decisive majority of delegates, so the nominee is chosen through wheeling and dealing.”

The strangest outcome would be the GOP nominating a person who didn’t even run, and popular names have included Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Colbert issued some other options: “Scrooge McDuck, a Ouija board that spells out Ronald Reagan” and a “bald eagle wearing a pair of pleated Khakis.”


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