Watch Kimmel's Lie Witness News Team Tease Fake Supreme Court Nominees - Rolling Stone
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Watch Kimmel’s Lie Witness News Team Tease Fake Supreme Court Nominees

Citizens express enthusiasm over Whitey Bulger, George Harrison, L. Ron Hubbard

Jimmy Kimmel Live‘s “Lie Witness News” segment reached a new branch of low-hanging fruit Wednesday with a hilarious Supreme Court edition centered around Barack Obama’s nomination of Merrick B. Garland.

The Kimmel “beat reporter” asked people on the street about everyone but Garland, dropping notable, but definitively non-judicial names like Whitey Bulger. According to one woman, however, the notorious Boston gangster’s criminal past shouldn’t hinder his confirmation: “It’ll be okay, we all do wrong.”

Other participants spoke fawningly about non-nominees George Harrison, Sammy Hagar — despite his strict laws against driving 55 — and Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. “I thought it was a good choice, because he’s more Republican,” said one young woman, who also didn’t mind replacing the customary swearing-in Bible with an E-meter.

The bit closed with the first woman — who hadn’t been wary of Bulger’s seedy past — though she seemed to be in on the joke now as she discussed how the nomination of Tyrion Lannister might finally unify the disparate kingdoms dividing the United States.


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