Jimmy Kimmel tried to piggyback on Donald Trump‘s trillions by ghost-writing a charming children’s book, Winners Aren’t Losers, under the GOP candidate’s name and reading it to him Wednesday on Jimmy Kimmel Live.
The book boasts classic Dr. Seuss-esque rhymes and illustrations, following a bombastic, big-headed Trump as he shows two young scamps a wide array of failures. There’s the dog who made bad deals, and poor Mr. Bear, who, as Kimmel read, “must feel like a loser / valet-ing that 2006 PT Cruiser!”
Trump got a kick out of the whole thing, even cracking a grin when Kimmel knocked his questionable immigration reform policies with a passage about frogs whom are not liked at all: “We must kick these frogs out / And then build a wall!”
The final pages of Winners Aren’t Losers mimicked Dr. Seuss’ Oh, The Places You’ll Go!, though instead of visions of personal fulfillment and adventure, there were yachts and planes, suits from Milan and wives from Ukraine.
“There are two kinds of people, which one will you be? / A loser like them? Or a winner,” Kimmel read in closing, before passing the book off to Trump: “Like me.”